Saturday, November 22, 2008

This how our world is going to end: Not by climate change, nor by asteroid calamity, nor by Obama...it will be from stupidity.

Earlier tonight, I sat down at the dinner table to eat some chips and dip.  Little did I know that I'd be eating a whole load bullshit

I frequently get catalogs from local community colleges and community education organizations.  I always read through them looking for classes that will expand my knowledge and hopefully make me smarter.   Most catalogs start out with their classes for EMT, First Responder and the assorted first aid and CPR classes.  There are courses on how to use MS Excel and MS Word along with everything from auto repair to book keeping and welding.  I'm sometimes inspired by these catalogs.  It brings back memories of college and I get the pleasant feeling that I'm "shopping for knowledge."  

As I start digging into my healthy snack, I open up the latest catalog from a local county's community college.  It came in a newspaper format with photos and brief bios of young pretty coeds and teachers.   It described how to get enrolled and noted some generalities about their available courses of study.  I was comforted by the usual familiar topics:  Art, Business, Biomedical Technology, computers, book keeping and healthcare.   Eventually, I see a section: "Integrative Health and Healing."  Oh Oh.  I started to get a little anxious as I had just read this blog post the other day.

At this point, I have no idea what "Integrative Health and Healing" is but it's sandwiched between the nursing courses and the small business development section.

Blammmy!  My head exploded. 

Here are some of courses they are offering at the accredited tax payer funded college:

"Healing Touch Level 1:  People of varying knowledge and experience will develop concepts and skills in energy-based therapy.  Describe the human energy system relationship to physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health.  Discuss energy principles basic to Healing Touch.  Access the energy field and energy centers.  Identify a basic Healing Touch sequence.  Demonstrate specific intervention techniques.   Discuss applications of Healing Touch in personal and professional practice."

Wow.  I've been going to medical doctors my whole life.  Who needs college, medical school and residency to learn about medicine when all you need is a $300 course that teaches how to heal with energy?  Wait a sec, you will likely need "Healing Touch Level 2" where they teach "a one-hour healing sequence" and let you "practice back and neck techniques."  Ok.  $600 is still a bargain. 

But wait...there's more:

"Energy Anatomy and Your Health:  Your body has a physical anatomy, but it also has an energetic system.  Learn about chakra principles and how they affect your life, health and energy.  Learn how your body reflects the lessons of your life and how to consciously take back your personal power.  Learn about your own spirit's unlimited capacity for self-healing and divine connection."

Holy shit.  I don't even need a Healing Touch now, I can just learn how to fix my energy and heal myself.  This is getting better and better.  Plus, this class is only $75 and looks like only two 2 hours sessions.  Cool.  4 hours and 75 bucks.  Who needs health insurance?

I could go on for another 10,000 words and describe the 40 or classes they list.  This catalog has it all:  Reiki, Herbalism, Acupressure, Essential Oils, Aroma Therapy and Labyrinth.  Wait. What was that?  Labyrinth?

"The Healing Labyrinth...More than Walking in Circles:  The labyrinth is an ancient pattern and archetypal symbol that transcends centuries and cultures.  Today the labyrinth is re-emerging throughout the world as a spiritual tool and waling medication. Explore the history of the labyrinth and ways that healing can be achieved through waling the labyrinth.  You will have the opportunity to walk and indoor labyrinth.  An optional labyrinth tour is available during the afternoon, weather permitting."

I'm not even sure what to say about that.  I think I got brain all over my monitor.  This is the best bargain so far:  4 hours and only $45.  I only have to walk around in circles and I'll be healed.  That's a whole lot better than listening to a sermon and getting smacked in the head by Benny Hinn.

If it was only as simple as taking a couple courses for a few hundred bucks...I know some of you are thinking "what's the harm? It's their money and their time, why not try it?"  Well, there is harm.  Go here to read up on it.  If that's not enough, then consider:  It's wasted time you could've spent with your kids, it's wasted money you could've given to a charity and it's false hope.  These things don't work.  If they did work, every doctor, medical school and hospital would be relying on them right now. These things are not new.  If they worked, we would use them.

Rather than post a bunch of research links here for you to ignore, I'll give you a couple very fine posts to start you off. 

Go listen to Brian Dunning's short podcast on homeopathy.

Go read Sandy Szwarc's blog posts on healing energy and healing hands.

Go learn about energy.  It's not what these people want you to believe.

Do research.  Spend time with your family and use your money to make the world a better, smarter place.

2 comments:

  1. I had "healing touch" done on me for years by my ex mother in law. If it works, I have not seen any evidence. She swore up and down that her "poor boy" would not have to endure spending thousands on medical bills for me if I just let her do this "healing touch". Yeah right. I am sure you can figure out that it didn't work. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Blogophile: No surprise there. These thing work no more or less than placebo. Whenever they put them under a double blind placebo controlled clinical trial they learn that. It goes on all the time.

    Be sure to follow the Benny Hinn link in this post. Very funny.

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